Confession

Do you remember when you were young, your parents would make you say sorry for something bad that you’ve done? Perhaps as a parent now, you teach your children the same. This is in order that they realize what they’ve done is wrong, and hopefully they will not repeat the same mistake.

For the same reason, we go to Confession. How come it seems so much more difficult for adults to say sorry now, than when they were children? As I wrote earlier, I had gone for my very first Confession a few days ago. I was very scared beforehand, partly because it was a completely new thing to me, and also because I had to contemplate all the things that I have done wrong, and I was ashamed. I tell you, human pride has a lot to do with it as well. We may know our sins, but we are often too proud to admit them, even to ourselves. Worse yet, human pride might even tell us that what we’ve done isn’t so bad, so why the need to repent? Well, in the end, I had a wonderful Confession with the priest – it was a critical moment for me – I realized that it was actually a very positive and liberating experience to purge my sins, and I had the opportunity to feel God’s boundless love and mercy for us.

I had discussed this experience briefly with my parents. They also had not gone for Confession in a very long time. My mother told me that she doesn’t think she needs to, because she can repent her sins to God in her heart. I thought about this and wanted to know why this is not right. My own explanation is this – if someone has wronged or hurt you, do you think it’s alright for him to just be sorry in his heart, and not say sorry to your face? In the same way, we have hurt God often with our faults, and we owe it to Him to actually repent our sins in Confession.

Now some would say, God is everywhere and God is all-knowing. If I repent my sins in my heart, He must surely be able to hear me. No need to go to a priest. Well, in the same parallel, if the person who has hurt you just tells a mutual friend that he is regretful, and assumes that you will hear about it from your mutual friend, wouldn’t it still upset you that he doesn’t bother to apologize to you in person? What is the problem here? It is his attitude, isn’t it? Whether it be pride, cowardice, or laziness, it still comes across as a lack of respect. In the same way, if we just repent in our hearts, we do not respect God.

To be honest, if you just repent in your heart, it would not be to the same extent as if you talk about it out loud, in person with a priest, and have a discussion about it anyways. Then you will do it less and less frequently, and let it slide.

During this Holy Week, may we all look deeply into ourselves, reflect upon our sins and be truly sorry for them. May we also be deep in prayer, and remember the agony that Jesus Christ endured, even to His death, so that our sins may be washed away.